She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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