Its about making memories worth repressing
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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