Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize