im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
