Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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