My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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