Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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