I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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