WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im holly from the hills drunk
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
