I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Acid is not a monday night drug
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize