just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
