U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I currently don't understand fingers.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
