Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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