I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
