I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
