I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
