Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize