I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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