Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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