Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
