i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
