We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
