Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Never joke about your clitoris.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
