Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
