the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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