i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize