she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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