You just made me feel so damn special
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
jump out the window naked night went bad
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
