did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
