My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize