dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
