Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
