I wish i was in the wii world.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
