i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
