I just threw up on my dentist
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
