Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just forgot I was standing up.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
