did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
