My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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