i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
