I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just pynch a tree in the face
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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