why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
zippers are such a cool invention
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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