obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
