I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize