she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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