I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
last night I used snow as a chaser
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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