ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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