Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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