so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize