So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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