smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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