I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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