I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
