So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
