i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
