haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize