The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
