Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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